C, you cannot "find" yourself in these conversations. Or round and round you will continue to go.
If you need to set a boundary, be prepared to follow through.
C: I have asked that we not have these discussions. If they start, I am going to.........
And then do it.
Originally Posted By: cbtdad
Once again i said i dont care! She said that there is less than a 1 percent chance of a future with OM and she knows that. Once again I said, "I don't care and I do not want to discuss this. This is frustrating and I'm leaving."
Otherwise you get this^^^^. And frustrated and irritated is not what you want to show her nor do you want to feel it.
Me: I can tell you don't understand. I'm not mad. Just frustrated. It's about respect. You have enough respect for him to ASK if he had a problem with you making plans with Julie. Whereas me you don't ask you just TELL me you are going. It just shows me were things stand. It's ok. I'm not mad at you for going or telling me. I'm frustrated with the situation is all I'm saying.Does that make more sense?
Um, no, it doesnt to me cuz I'm seeing anger and you explaining and you not being detached.;) just sayin..
W: I guess but I respect you to tell you and be up front. And I told him to tell me if he had a problem not that I was actually going to change plans if he did.
Me: Hence my point of you even asking him.
And round and round you go.
I'm very happy that you have started reading that book. I really wish you would go see MC by yourself so she could maybe help you with te confusion and the things you want to make better for you. Because that way she can give you some advice on how to proceed.
Oh no, you didnt ^^^^^^
I just don't like my emotional feeling after these talks and especially don't want to hear about crap about OM. I just feel like I she really wanted to try and change something she wouldn't be going on beach trip with OM friend. And this is why I have no expectations even when things she says seem to be leaning towards wanting to try to work on things.
But you do have expectations, sweetie, if you keep getting yourself angry and frustrated and upset, ya know?
Gotta detach, C. Gotta keep looking inward. Gotta let her blow in the wind right now.
