DBing, GALing and living oh my!

[cbtdad]

Somehow I got drawn into a conversation with the W.
Seriously hate talking about this stuff with her now.
She is reading the 5 LL's though. And she also said that she knows she's made the "road to reconciliation alot rougher"
She then told me she is going to beach with a friend in a couple weeks. Her friend Julie who is friends with OM. She said just the 2 of them not a couples thing. I said it doesn't matter, not my business. She said she even asked OM of he had a problem with her going with a friend of his and that she could show me the text to him. Once again i said i dont care! She said that there is less than a 1 percent chance of a future with OM and she knows that. Once again I said, "I don't care and I do not want to discuss this. This is frustrating and I'm leaving."
I get the following text from wife:
W: I asked if he had a problem w me making plans with Julie. Sorry I don't understand. I'll just say I'm going out of town next time

Me: I can tell you don't understand. I'm not mad. Just frustrated. It's about respect. You have enough respect for him to ASK if he had a problem with you making plans with Julie. Whereas me you don't ask you just TELL me you are going. It just shows me were things stand. It's ok.
I'm not mad at you for going or telling me. I'm frustrated with the situation is all I'm saying.
Does that make more sense?

W: I guess but I respect you to tell you and be up front. And I told him to tell me if he had a problem not that I was actually going to change plans if he did.

Me: Hence my point of you even asking him.
I appreciate you telling me. Like I've said trust between us has to start somewhere. How can we raise S together when we divorce if we can't be honest with each other?
So I think that's so important regardless of what happens.
Somehow we went from my dad to all this talking again. It's obvious we have things we both want to discuss. But it's plainly obvious that it will go no where without any outside help directing us.
I'm very happy that you have started reading that book. I really wish you would go see MC by yourself so she could maybe help you with te confusion and the things you want to make better for you. Because that way she can give you some advice on how to proceed.
Until then let's please really try to stay out of these talks. They end up going nowhere. I've asked for this already, hopefully we can try to avoid this for now.

W: I agree

Me: all in favor say "I"

Me: I!!

W: I haha



I just don't like my emotional feeling after these talks and especially don't want to hear about crap about OM. I just feel like I she really wanted to try and change something she wouldn't be going on beach trip with OM friend. And this is why I have no expectations even when things she says seem to be leaning towards wanting to try to work on things.