Wife is having an emotional affair

[sandi2]

Be careful, Alan. I think she will keep trying to make you jump through hoops. She'uses people for what she wants at that particular moment, and then kicks them aside. She doesn't doesn't respect a gentle, good-hearted man. If she ever really falls for anyone, it will probably be a man who is bad to her, and then she will find her and will find herself catering to him.

Yes, life can be like a kick in the head, but I believe there are still some great women out there. I just don't happen to believe she's one of them, based on what you've tod us......and based on knowing other females who seem to be like you've described.

I have a relative who was very selfish as a child. I don't know that she knew what it was to hear the word "no", or she just made life hell for everyone u til they gave in. She tricked a good boy into M and they had three children. She was horrible to him and they finally D. She has been in several M and who knows how many short term R. Today, she is middle age and looks like an old "streetwalker". The saddest part is she's alone. None of her friendships and relationships ever last due to how she treats them.

One day you meet the girl that deserves you..........but this woman sure doesn't.

[Alan A.]

finally got my final grades for the semester. I ended up with a 3.85 GPA. I think W was somewhere around 2.0.

[25yearsmlc]

don't bother keeping score with her about grades or relationships or life in general. She may want to do that but it cannot be a part of your life.

Scorecards are terrible things IN relationships and end up being weird to have afterwards too...I mean

HER happiness or misery, is NOT an index for yours.

You can win the lottery and it does not "make her poor"

and or she can buy a new car but that does not make your tires flat. You are not on the same race track so she is not competing with you...nor are you with her.

What matters is YOU GOT GREAT GRADES!!!

She's not in the picture...she's a moot point...

It's all about you now.

But she probably will want something from you in the future. Maybe money, or help with a project OR a shoulder to cry on (ironic I know)

and it'll happen in a few months or sooner if she gets lonely for OM, b/c I guess she thought an affair worth ending her marriage for would be more "FUN".... but where'd he go?

oh, he's in college so he went to his parent's house for the summer and she was playing house...

I married in college. I was too young. Yes we made it, but marrying that young just made things harder for us. Keeping our vows was harder than it would have been if we had waited.

She's not ready to be a wife, and will never be a good wife to YOU b/c she is a selfish woman who will take from a giver.

I have no idea what role models she had or if she was spoiled or what.

From your words here, all we KNOW is, she's bad news.

You're not. Learn about who YOU are and what you love to do and

make yourself happy....On your own....

in time you'll find you have a much deeper connection in your next relationship than you ever could

with someone who insists you bring her toothpicks to YOUR martial home-

but hurry up b/c her adultery partner is coming over....

[Alan A.]

I put in a request for the post office to forward my mail, unfortunately it will not go into effect until the 22nd. I got the modem today. OM was over. She kept asking me questions about how to set up her new one. I told her to call the support line if she couldn't figure it out and left. I will go pick up the last of the mail on the 22nd but I plan to have not contact until then and after then.

[Alan A.]

Today I found out W told a friend that I started crying when she said she wanted a D. Then she said that if I wasn't ready to hear she wanted a D then I shouldn't have asked if she still wanted to be married.

It's painfully obvious how immature she is after everything that has happened the past couple months. I don't know how/why I didn't see it before. I really don't see any way for R even in the very unlikely event that she decides to seek it out.

[JH52]

Alan A -- when are you or your wife going to file ?

[Alan A.]

well I don't know if she has any plans to but I'm pretty sure she doesn't have money to file the forms. I don't either. I was doing more research today and apparently it may be possible to get the fees waved so I'm going to look into that a little more. From what I understand it cost ~$320 if you are the filer and ~$260 if you are the other party. I'm not sure what would happen if I filed and she didn't have the money to pay her part. I'm going to have to look into it further.

I was talking to my dad the other day and he was concerned that even if my name is taken off of everything that she can still do damage financially just because we are still married. Does anyone know if that is true?

[lovethehub]

It may depend on where you are but, yes, I believe it is true. We have a place in NY called "We the People" and they help you file forms for just about anything (divorce included) and it is cheap (maybe $100). Maybe you can find a place like that, then you just submit the paperwork to the court. If not,and you are liable for her choices, can you borrow it from your mom because it may be a lot smarter than letting her run up debt in your name.

[T1000]

If you think he could/will cause trouble it might be worth paying her part of it.

[Alan A.]

I've filled out and printed the D paperwork. My parents said they could help me pay my portion. I think the only reason she would need to pay anything is if she wants to file a "response" which is what they call it if you want to argue about something. I don't think there is anything W would argue about, but who knows, and if she does want to argue about something in the papers she can find a way to pay for the response on her own. I think I should be able to go to the courthouse to file them on my next day off which is friday.