A typical Texas divorce requires the following steps: •One spouse (the Petitioner), files an Original Petition for Divorce with the court, and has the papers personally served on (delivered to) the other spouse (the Respondent). If the spouses are working together, the Respondent can sign a waiver, giving up the right to be personally served with the papers. •At the time of filing, the Petitioner can request that the court issue a standard Temporary Restraining Order that: (a) requires that no assets disappear before they can be divided by the court, and (b) requires that the spouses act civilly toward each other and not threaten or harass each. If a Temporary Restraining Order was issued, the court must schedule a hearing within 14 days of issuance. At that time, the court may make the Temporary Restraining Order into a temporary injunction against both parties. •If no Temporary Restraining Order is issued, the Respondent has 20 days plus the next following Monday to file a document called an Answer. Commonly, the court will also consider temporary orders, which will be in effect while the divorce is pending. Temporary orders usually involve temporary custody, visitation, and support of the children, and temporary use of property and servicing of debt. It can include temporary spousal support and the payment of interim attorney's fees as well. •If the spouses think they haven't gotten all the information they need from each other, they then engage in discovery, which is the process by which they exchange information and documents. •The spouses discuss settlement of the case, either directly or with the help of attorneys or mediators. If they can work out an agreement on everything, one of the spouses or attorneys will prepare an Agreed Decree of Divorce, which will contain all of the terms of the agreement. The spouses and their attorneys sign it, and eventually the judge does as well. •If the spouses are not able to agree on all of the issues in the case, a trial date will likely be set. •Before trial, spouses are required to attempt mediation. Mediation is an informal process allowing the divorcing couple to work with a neutral third party (the mediator) to negotiate and settle all terms of their conflict. •If mediation fails, the case goes to trial. At the conclusion of the trial, one of the attorneys will prepare a Final Decree of Divorce to present to the judge for signature. This will contain all of the court's rulings and will resolve all issues pertaining to the divorce, and is binding on the parties going forward.
After the divorce is filed, how long does it take to finalize?
In Texas, a divorce cannot be final for at least 60 days after the petition is filed. The divorce is final as soon as the judge pronounces it so in open court and signs the decree of divorce. If the spouses are not in agreement, it typically takes about six months to one year or longer to finalize a divorce, depending on the complexity of the issues and the degree of conflict.
Not sure whether I should do anything myself through this process, like even asking her if she has scheduled a meeting with the mediator she says she found.
TX suggests that 30% of my net income go to child support (for our 3 children). Standard in shared custody would be to split that in half, less 15% of her net income. How do I go about communicating to her that she isn't going to be a stay-at-home-mom anymore? She has plenty of earning potential. I'll offer some years of spousal support rather than fund that. I'm lost as far as how DB this discussion/thinking is. I've been urged to try not to roll over and play nice with her through this. I think that is best no matter what.
Have you run the numbers including the cost of after-school and full-time summer care for three kids? Have you decided that what is best for the kids is to go from having a mom at home to having daycare?
"I'll offer some years of spousal support rather than fund [my kids' mom taking care of them]" sounds mean.
I just hope that what is best for the kids is driving your thought process there.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
OK! My H complained that he was subsidizing me, since I've worked P/T since my oldest was 1, now he's 15. I work during the schoolday, and it's a rare day that I'm at work on time (missed the bus) or the entire day (dr appointment, allergy shot, forgot lacrosse bag), and there's no downtime because I'm either working at home, working at work, or working, it seems. So the idea that I'll now have to work harder or more somehow, and find a way to get more money, because H places no value on the things I do for the kids, not to mention the fact that they really need supervision and not just a body in the house, even or especially at the ages mine are (you'd think older kids would just be good little robots), well, you can see I have a little sensitivity about it. Moms at home aren't just eating bon bons. Anyway, sounds like you are fully aware of that, and I'm glad you're putting your kids #1.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
All situations are different. Here is mine: My wife is a professional runner. She works out a lot. She has made between $300 and $6500 per year doing this over the last 7 years, but the cost to our family has been very great in her time. Given the investment for gym memberships, "fuel", coaching, gear, race entries and travel, etc. she has probably lost money on her profession every year except the one she had a sponsor. She is trying to start a house-cleaning business. She is selling cosmetics. She could easily become a professional trainer at a gym and make $40k plus. But she doesn't want to. Yes, it is a huge increase in the time she has to work. I don't want to try to make decisions for her. But the word you used, advina, 'subsidizing' is poignant to me in this situation. I happily subsidized her racing for years. I supported her and was proud of her. But then she fell in love with another runner and is now leaving me. I am sore about this.
More on W working: We got married after our sophomore year at college and had our first baby after junior year. We decided that W would be a SAHM. After a few years (and a couple more babies) she started talking about going back to school, working, wanting something more than where she was. I heard her and tried to encourage w/o pressuring her. She signed up for classes three times but I don't think she earned credits but one of those times. I made enough money, but was never happy in my career, so on the selfish side I was hoping for her help so I could leverage a change. Nothing ever happened. She started getting really into racing, and I tried to encourage and support her in that, even though there wasn't a lot of earning potential in it how she planned it. So it's clear in that where a lot of our problems/stress fracturing came from. But if she's wanting out then I just don't really feel as much responsibility to prop up my end of the bargain, either.
