Apparently, unbeknownst to me my H is trying to ''come home''! Ok, so I have seen signs, very small signs over a long period of time since he got off the couch and started to sleep in my bed, but hell it's nothing worth jumping up and down about, it's down right frustrating
The week leading up to M-day he talked about getting me something, which go my mind wondering. Sun afternoon after work he walked in with a box of chocolate and kissed my check thanking me for being a wonderful mother. He wanted to share the box while watching a movie in bed, ok! After the movie he passed out from exhaustion, but just after he wrapped himself around me.
What did I say, don't touch the LBS, I need a t-shirt made! Mon afternoon was rainy and gross so we resorted to a movie w/more chocolate, which led into a pizza, and a shower and H calling off work that night?! OMG, he want to ML!
He told me he wanted me, but was physically unable. I'm not saying a word, what is the right thing to say, "GTF outa here, really dude"! (watching Casino at the time) No, I didn't say anything! Unlike how he has treated me, I didn't want to do or say anything that would hurt him, or push away his efforts to peek out!
Now I find out, because EA is going bonkers that he has ended their friendship. He told her he has every reason in the world to be content w/life, me, but he needs her content. Not sure how they ended up entwind, but he needs her to be ok without him. He ignored all her attempts yesterday to talk to him which only makes her reveal everything to "my" voicemail.
He said he will miss her, and thinks about her everyday, but goodbye, that was Sat, before his attempts to get closer to me.
I have no intentions of wanting to be back w/him. He is not what I would be pursuing in a man, regardless of the fact we are M, it doesn't give him a free pass as the chosen one. You would think it would give him a leg up, but no, there is way to much realization that he is "not" good for me.
I need to read about when the LBS doesn't want the WAS back. Am I being realistic? Stick w/the devil you know?
Today he "told me" to do something, I let him know it's important for him to understand how I will allow him to treat me. He said he's not in an asking mood, I said than talk to me another time. I am so willing to walk away from him. So much work!
The soon to be 46yr old me is not willing to nurse him back to himself, when himself...as he was, could never be good enough for me now! He's not making miraculous change. I am at the point where starting new, seems better than trying to salvage the old.
Is this bad, will/could I change my mine, will it be up to how/if he continues to pursue me, do they ever even just apologize?
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
and H calling off work that night?! OMG, he want to ML! 
