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#2349280 05/15/13 08:44 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 114
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So I signed the divorce papers 2 and half weeks ago and I am assuming my wife has signed hers as well. During our separation and divorce proceedings I have read multiple books to Improve myself. Her one complaint with me was my anger in witch I always new was a problem but never sought to seek help until the big D. I am in the process of reading a book called "the anger solution". This book has targeted all of my issues and has been very beneficial to me. However, I have also read areas that have targeted my wife to a T! My wife does not feel like she holds any anger and does not believe her anger has contributed to our divorce. I want so badly to explain to her some positives that I have read from this book or ask her to read it because I believe it would help us. I am pretty sure this would go against divorce busting but I feel like I am running out of time for her to notice my changes. Does anyone have any opinions on my thought process here? Thank you in advance


Me 33
W 32
Married 10/13/12
WAW Started sleeping in spare room 1/13/13
Divorce filed 2/13/13
Seperated 3/1/13 till ?????????
Divorced 5/28/13
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Posts: 12,602
"However, I have also read areas that have targeted my wife to a T!"

In YOUR opinion. She will disagree.

"My wife does not feel like she holds any anger and does not believe her anger has contributed to our divorce."

That is her choice. You can't force anyone to believe something they don't want to. After all, no one can force you.

"I want so badly to explain to her some positives that I have read from this book or ask her to read it because I believe it would help us."

No you still want to control her. You still think all of this is in your control. It isn't.

"I am pretty sure this would go against divorce busting but I feel like I am running out of time for her to notice my changes."

Stop controlling.

"Does anyone have any opinions on my thought process here? Thank you in advance"

You can't control what someone else believes. PERIOD. Learn what you can to fix YOUR OWN faults and insecurities. If you are learning to control your anger, then that's great. Chalk that up as a plus. Let her deal with her own issues.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 114
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Mr.Bond,

Thank you for the insight and the reality check....I am in that stage where I go like 3-4 days and I am okay with the position I am in and then I get a day like this where my mind starts racing and I need to be put back into check so thank you for doing that.

Patience patience patience and lots of prayer


Me 33
W 32
Married 10/13/12
WAW Started sleeping in spare room 1/13/13
Divorce filed 2/13/13
Seperated 3/1/13 till ?????????
Divorced 5/28/13
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
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Posts: 698
I'm having the same issues & I very much understand your thought process as I am in a similar boat. Yes, patience, patience, patience. We all need it. I wish you the best on your journey.


me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 114
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 114
Mimi, Thank you and I hope your situation works out good as well!!


Me 33
W 32
Married 10/13/12
WAW Started sleeping in spare room 1/13/13
Divorce filed 2/13/13
Seperated 3/1/13 till ?????????
Divorced 5/28/13

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