[in_it]

Thanks Papa4Life! I will say I'm quite nervous about having twins, with or without H I know it will be a challenge. I'm up for it & think I will have a great support system around me to help out. I have so much to learn.

I still need to tell H about the twins. Things have been going pretty good the past couple of days & I don't know if I'm ready for what's to come when I do tell him. I don't really want to deal with his reaction or comments right now.

On another note…a bit of an update:
I have not engaged or initiated contact by calling or texting H for 4 days now. This is a record, for sure.

H & I have been having nice conversation & he even initiated a hug yesterday. I couldn't believe it.

I do have to admit, I still fantasize about contacting OW. Not as much, but the urge is still there. I even started a letter to her by typing it on my notes app on my phone. I can say that after reading it several times & even adding to it I know it would not be a good idea to actually send. I do think that typing it out has helped me.

Back to telling H about the twins…how do I bring it up? I know I can't hold off much longer.

Going to dinner with a couple of friends tonight. I think this will be good for me.