6) I'm thinking about moving back into the old house. It makes sense because I need more space and we own it. Downside: could stir some serious [stuff] up.
7) I put my books from the bookshelf in boxes this past weekend. They're ready to go whenever I feel like grabbing them. Two big boxes worth and the bookshelf is rather empty.
8) She has - on several occasions - indicated there are still feelings and emotions with me, that she is physically attracted to me, etc. She could be:
Telling me something she thinks I want to hear to soften me up or make me feel better, or
Signaling me, as in: "Hey! You idiot! I know I SAY "I'm done", but don't screw this up because I'm not."
I just need to get "okay" first. It's difficult to put myself first. It's been difficult for me to reorder the priorities list in my mind and put kids above W. Does anyone have ideas on the steps to this process?
The context of everything could get very detailed, and it's quite obvious that, though I do not intend to write giant posts, it's usually what I end up doing to feel like I'm providing the proper frame for the story to a (wonderful) bunch of relative strangers. So my apologies for that. I'll leave the detailed context (that I began typing) out for now.
Right now I'm trying to:
Focus on creating the best life possible for me and my children.
Become "okay" with her as a person, though I'm not sure how "okay" I can be with my lack of trust. I suppose I only allow her as close as my trust allows.
Be an honorable man.
Be a man only a fool would leave.
Be me.
Keep the road paved home smooth.
Thanks,
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
