The wife has suggested I move there. I had contemplated the idea myself (but didn't tell her). My natural instinct is to decline it. If my w wants to separate then she can move.
Your natural instinct most closely matches the advice given on these forums. Don't move. It's very inconvenient and upsetting and the WAS should have to bear that as part of the responsibility of breaking up the M. Plus when children are involved, the family home is "home base" for them during this difficult time and their inclination is going to be to want to stay in that place of comfort. The LBS is already losing their spouse, they shouldn't have to lose their home and children too.
Also as Papa said, there may be legal implications, some states regard the spouse that leaves the home as "abandoning" the children for example.
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On the other hand it'll enable us to have our own space; it'll mean I could see the children whenever I wanted and the dreadful silence that consumes us when we are together would be banished. It would be slightly surreal but would it be beneficial?
And you'll have all of those things if your W moves into that place instead of you. If she thinks it's such a fantastic idea then she should do it.
We never, ever recommend separation around here unless there's some kind of abuse taking place. Your chances of reconciling are better if you stay under the same roof. When separated, reconciliation can sometimes happen faster than if the couple stays together, but more often than not it seems like once S occurs it's a lot easier for the WAS to stay away. The DB'ing approach is to try to stay together under one roof no matter how tough that may be, but if the WAS says they want to S then the LBS should just tell them they support them in that decision and not try to block them from leaving. But it should be the WAS that leaves, not the LBS.
