I agree with you on option 3. Pushing could lead to a tense situation. Letting it go can ultimately send your W a message that you DID hear her and that you accept her desire (to stay at VB and not do date night) in a positive way. Of course, do not point any of that out to her.

Moving forward on this specific point, let it go. Do not bring it up. Go to VB and really enjoy yourself. Even if it is not having fun WITH your W, DO enjoy yourself. Cheer on D and her team, join in positive chants and chats with other parents.

Be that same guy who would go to his home team's basketball game... wink think about this... really... Even if you have season tickets to the basketball games in the other community, why can you not transition all that energy and spirit to your kids' sports?

IF your W brings up date night, just let her know that you are not worried about it, that you are happy to be at the VB game, and then drop the subject.

Yes, stay positive about the fact that your W does not appear to be pursuing D. Look at how T^2 is handling his sitch. His W is half in and half out and sometimes wants to run, but other times is content with staying. Meanwhile, he continues to work on himself, stay detached (non-reactive to the best of his abilities)... things WILL change in YOU and that will change the sitch...

As for anything further with "date nights"? Well, what do you think? Do you think that she would be willing to do more date nights in the future? Do you think that she really would set the next date night? I know you want her to show her level of commitment, but she may agree to be in charge of the next date night, yet never do it. That will be frustrating for you.

Can you give us a little more detail or idea as to how you planned "date nights"? Did you plan on doing it every weekend? Was this something that you would keep doing indefinitely? I think you indicated that it was working, for you. Is that correct? How many have you had, so far?