I agree with you Kaffe, I am going to take the papers when they come. Instead of every time, I open my mailbox (allowing my heart to jump out of my chest). I have a lawyer ready. So at this point this is all I need to do. It's been 7 months, and the whole time he has been going on & on regarding a divorce. So until I see something different, it's business as usual. Lots of namaste, and big glasses of wine ahead.
Going to try to take even more focus off of H, but that is so hard. However, I'm going to give it an honest try. I'm struggling, because I am worried about him. That last run-in with him...He just doesn't look well, or happy (as he so likes to put it). Just imagine, a crumpled paper bag. I wonder if he was embarrassed that I saw him looking so bad? Do you think it a good idea, to have one of his friends reach out to him? Answering my own question, probably not. I know this is his journey, and these are his lessons to learn.
BRNR, has your H mentioned divorce?
I guess, the question of the hour is...how do you keep hope alive, while moving forward with your life? It seems to me that you're either hoping, praying, and doing lots of yoga. Or you're planning your next relationship.
I wonder if I have done this all wrong, and should have tried to talk to him? Should have answered the phone on those late nights, should have fought him harder on his separation idea. I think sometimes, because I have not made a scene, or reached out to tell the OW, exactly what I think of her...in his fog (literally his smoke induced fog), that somehow he thinks that I allowed this to happen, so therefore I agree with him??
M 32 H 35 M 3/ SS 8yrs BD 7/5/12 S 10/1/12 H wants Divorce 1/13 It's official served 5/13
