It is good that you are getting settled in your new place.
Sure, you are going to continue to deal with emotions regarding how things are, right now. It needs to happen and take what time you need to work through those emotions. It sounds cliché, but it does get better.
Even though you are feeling down about the broken R, it certainly DID mean something. To you... and surely with your H. There were good times, most likely much more than bad. Neither you nor your H can deny that.
Keep GALing and working on yourself. The future is uncertain and good things WILL come to you. Maybe... you may R... otherwise, set yourself up for a better future, no matter what.
I do want you to think positively about your upcoming vacation. I also would like to remind you that you can have a good time there, no matter what. So, what would happen if your H changed your mind? Would you still go on the vacation?
