B, no more lunch meetings with your H. If you must meet with him choose a time, preferably during the weekend, that won't jeopardize your job, have an agenda and a time limit. Make it a business meeting. If there are some things that you can get resolved between you, great. If that's not possible, don't meet.
The spewing will likely continue. It did in my case until I blocked all communication. They need to continue to justify their actions. I suggest you not give your H the opportunity. You've been emotionally battered enough. When you feel stronger it will be easier to listen and validate.
Focus on your job and getting your ducks in a row. Staying on top of your life will give you choices. Find a way to reduce your debt. There are non-profit agencies that may be able to help you. It's challenging, but you can do it.
Take very good care of yourself so that you can take care of the boys. D takes awhile and is exhausting. Try not to focus on it daily. Use this time to really think about what makes you happy. Rest, exercise, get your home in order and whatever else you need to do to preserve your sanity and nurture your soul. Learn about you. You won't have time to focus on your H.
