Alan: don't even talk to her. Some message boards have an "Ignore" feature. Put her on that in real life and only communicate out of absolute necessity.
I teach my children that THEY teach OTHERS how to treat them. While there is nobility in always being nice and forgiving, sometimes you get to a point where you are teaching someone else that it's okay to treat you terribly.
She is blatantly disrespecting your marriage and you. Don't tolerate it. Don't even talk to her. You're better than that.
Being ignored is how she is going to "get the message" that what she is doing is not okay. She hasn't seemed to have received that message yet, or has rationalized her way out of it. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't understand this message anyway, so you might as well draw the line in the sand now.
Also, be prepared for the initial backlash.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
