My WAW - coming to terms with it all!

[WAW_SC]

So after so good ground gained on the weekend, i saw my W this afternoon and the reception was COLD. I can feel she is really trying to just cut me out...just like her notes to herself said:

"i have to cut all ties"

I had popped around to try and help out with something re: our son and she took it as an insult. She said something like

"i was fully aware of the situation and what I had to do" in a sh!tty tone.

I backed off and dropped it. Then some stuff happened with the kids and S3 got all angry with me and took sides with my W and I just left.

I get down after moments like this. Its takes me a while to get back to normal, but i find myself reminding myself that I was unhappy in my marriage too and that i shouldnt just expect that getting back together with my W would make me happy, because it wont. Its up to me.

My W is just charging along on her mission to cut me out of her life to find her happiness. Whenever i do something that is received well, shortly after she gives me the cold shoulder. its almost predictable but it still hurts.

Anyway, i want to be happy again and I know i have the potential to be happier than before. Just not sure if that will be with my W. I am also not sure If I want to start seeing other women. I think i want to but i am concerned its just rebound stuff. Also concerned that if i am with other women, that there is NO way i will ever get my W back.

Its very confusing because being in limbo does not allow me to be happy. Putting myself out there to meet other women is an exciting prospect...what if I am supposed to meet someone else. Nothing is certain in the future. I know i still love my W but I am worried that my desire to get back with her might stop me from being present, being in the moment and opening myself up to whatever is ahead of me. I also dont want to ruin any chances of reconciling.

Its a very confusing time because as i make lots of progress and find myself getting happier, its like i have these ropes i cant detach from for fear of reaching the point of no return.