Letting Go & Moving Forward 2

[littleGTO]

Journaling today--

H called me on the way to work to review the daily kid schedule, but also took the time to ask how I was doing (rarely does this) and then he said he wanted my opinion about a summer trip he is considering taking w the boys-solo.

He wanted my opinion about the financial aspect of doing the same trip one way or another. The strange thing is he said something about how this trip was different than the trip(s) I would be taking w the boys this summer, as they are getting together w my family.

He certainly couldn't come on those trips, he said (I didn't exactly invite him either). Then he said, but this trip is different. I didn't know if he was implying that maybe I should go with them???

He also said he wouldn't take them for a whole week as it would probably be too much for them to be away from me and vice versa.

Then he went on to talk about this Memorial weekend party I am having and said he's really surprised I was doing this & that it was a lot of work to get ready for a party--the house, the yard, shopping, etc. (Implying what? that I'm not capable, or that of course I'll need his help?)

I told him politely that I realize it's a lot of work but that I didn't expect him to help me get ready for it.

Then he went on again about how it would be "weird" for him to be there but equally "weird" for him not to be. (...since there will be mixed company there--people who know about our sitch & people who don't).

ANd he was surprised I would want to have a party given our situation.

By the end of our conversation I was on the verge of tears (as it felt like he was giving me the slightest, itty bitty inkling of hope & that he was actually TALKING to me not just about the kids). BUt, I held it together and ended the conversation before he did as I had gotten to work.

Please tell me NOT to read anything into this.

On the other hand, does it sound like just maybe he is still confused?

"Believe nothing they say and only half of what they do." Okay.