Heating up the grill, UW. Looks like we're going to be here awhile lol!
I woke up around 1:30 am last night to the sound of H going up and down the basement stairs. Then he comes up to the bedroom, turns on the lamp, and starts looking for an empty clothes basket. Says he is doing laundry because he can't sleep.
?????????
He comes back up about twenty minutes later with a load of the boys' clothes that I had in the dryer. Turns on the lamp again and starts to chat with me. Says he can't sleep, he's been cleaning and organizing, and that he did push-ups too (which he hasn't done in a long time). Says that when the boys get up in the morning, he is going to take them to Home Depot to pick out a flower for me for Mother's Day.
?????????
Come morning, the boys get up and get dressed. He takes them to the store, but it doesn't open for another half hour, so they come home empty handed. Breakfast was good, H acted pretty normal, didn't seem uncomfortable, and wasn't texting.
We all napped this afternoon, which was awesome!
He says he's not feeling well now, that his stomach is bothering him. The joints in his fingers are all swollen too, and of course he is itchy.
I'm guessing that guilt is really eating at him. Plus all the pressure I'm sure Ms. Needy is putting on him.
It's on him to figure out what to do about it.
I celebrated my first Mother's Day five years ago when S5 was just a week old. I remember being tired, sore from an unplanned c-section, but feeling a joy that filled my heart like nothing else.
Hope everyone is enjoying their day
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Happy Mother's Day rH! Hope you are having a wonderful day with your family
Thank you so much, tvs. I really did and will make a post later.
Your H's behavior is amazing. He is so confused. But I would say you are the lighthouse he is turning towards.
Why does he think you shouldn't sleep when he can't sleep? Lol!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
I like the menu UW, I think we just need something decadent for dessert. And hey, if you want to, bring some of your laundry for my H to do at 2:00 am lol!
Yes rH, his behavior is baffling to say the least. But I understand he's gotta do what he's gotta do to work it all out. Still trying to stay out of his way...
Have been reading a lot about reconnection, the difference between touch-and-goes and the real deal.
While I realize TRUE reconnection isn't going to fully happen while OW is in the picture, I believe it can begin to happen with her still hanging around. Just as he slowly lost interest in me, he can slowly gain interest in me.
And I believe that he is.
From hero's spouse ~ "Touch-and- goes are about testing, information fishing, putting out feelers and reassurance. The MLCer feels guilty and ashamed for causing you pain. Will you accept him, be kind and friendly even though he was not that way to you? They are testing both your forgiveness and acceptance and the integration of the two.
The Monster that was your MLCer is gradually crumbling, and the person he will become is not that monster. Will you be able to love, accept, and forgive that new person, knowing what the Monster did?"
That is yet to be determined...
Okay, turning my brain off for the night - or at least trying to
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Just as he slowly lost interest in me, he can slowly gain interest in me.
Exactly, exactly!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
I just wanted to drop by and tell you how impressed I am with how you are handling all this, the ups, downs, sideways twists and turns...and snails pace, I sympathize...or is that empathize? Or both? I don't know these days.
Just be your awesome self! T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Chocolate ecstasy? Say no more! It's the only ecstasy I'll get these days lol!!!
I think he is SLOWLY becoming interested in me rH. It is exciting and frustrating at the same time. Digging deep for patience and stuffing down expectations all at once!
Thanks T! Some days are good, some days tough. It's a crazy ride, no doubt! Then again, I don't need to tell you!!! Snails pace is an understatement
Nothing much to report. H came upstairs last night around 11:30 to shower. (Which he has never done before). Of course had to turn lamp on, and wasn't exactly quiet! Guess he was itchy. He didn't say anything about it this morning, and I didn't either.
When I came home from work today, he asked if it would be okay if he met his one friend out to watch the hockey game. I suspect that probably isn't true, but can't worry about it.
Though I do secretly hope there is lots of drama going on in affairville
Seems like the past few weeks have been busy(with some definite surprises!), and I am tired. Looking forward to getting the boys to bed, then hitting the hay too!
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
