we own a business - pt 9 ... its about me!

[makingmagic]

LONG STORY while working with h today: (out of order)

it starte with messages from exh got me upset and crying, in front of h. Eventually this turned into R talk and he is saying he is still unsure & open to R, but not willing to commit to it. He said he will be renovating his house as he feels he will still be there for awhile, I said how I wanted to come home. He understands that. He feels like he is living in a mausoleum and asked me to come help me move my stuff so he can reno, even into the attic... will leave my D22 bedroom intact. Pictures of family on wall and in bedroom hurt him. He still wants to be in a business with me. I asked if he still loved me. He said he didn't know what love is. He asked if my parent love each other, I said oh yes, they decide to love eachother every day. I explained how important it was to me to take what we have learned while we were apart and apply it to a new rel'p. He wants me to buy a house & be independent. He wants me to have a nice car.

Very long convo. Out of order

I told him that I am not perfect but I am a good person, he agreed and said it back. He views our time together as a good time, and will not speak badly of me. I asked about sex (he said he is having some problems ATM). I told him I missed sex.

I asked what he would think of me being with another guy. He said he wouldn't like that. I said that I wasn't ready yet, because of working on me and our reconcilliation.

He admits to being scatterbrained and wishes something would hit him in the head.

End: I said sounds like you are asking me to move on with my life. ILY and am willing to let you go. I will. I am missing my home, my best friend, affection and love. I will feel good that I did all that I can to reconcile, but cannot do it alone. He would not commit. I said I need a commitment. Then he said no. I said fine and walked away. I had to call back (car trouble), and ended up saying "all I was asking for was a chance... f it!" and hung up on him. He has since texted and called.

His text said" wfm, instead of seeing the positive in what i said you went the otherway"

He has called a few times now, I can't bear to answer. I am hurting and don't want to talk or have a business with him. I