It sounds very much like your H wants you to do all the work of "disentangling". He does not do anything, just tells you that you can do it.
I don't know if I buy that he has no feelings for you. People do not spend 17 years together and then feel nothing. Those feelings can be buried in guilt and a mask so that they are unrecognizable to us, but I don't believe the feelings go away completely nor do I believe that they can never come back There are reconcilation stories out there, more than I thought.
Your idea about figuring out what YOU want at this point is a great place to start. Has your DB coach said anything about the business assets? Financial independence with a new OW to impress may just wake him up to "real life".
