What does "working" mean? In two weeks have you felt better, stronger, more independent, more capable of being a man only a fool would leave? Then it has been working for you.

In two weeks has your W had opportunities to solidify her intent to you, to tell you it's over, to tell you her mind hasn't changed, to push you away? Then it has been working for you.

The urge to see where you're at with things, after two weeks, is your brain trying to trick you into backsliding. Has any situation here, any single one at all, that you can find, turned around in two weeks? So seeing where you're at is going to be a chance to solidify her decision or a chance to depress yourself.

Like they say about the squirrel, you let it come to you, and you stay very still and don't come after it, or you'll chase it farther away.

That said, DB is solution-based, it's about trying things and seeing if they get you closer or farther from your goals. If you (NOT FEEL, emotionally) believe from a thinking position, that it would further your goals at this point to send a brief, breezy, non-pursuing message, to let her know you're thinking of her and see how or if she responds, that's not an entirely bad idea. But the whole idea of doing it "to see where things are at" is not a good reason to do it. Read DB about "temperature checking." Resist.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.