New to this ...

[steveh27]

Yes sandi carries a couple 2x4's also ... they are hard to hear as it tears your hope down but in the end I know she's right. I need to start focusing on me for now. I'm there finally.

[My Issues:]
[1] Fear and Anxiety which caused trust and controlling issues with wife. This is the core problem.
[2] Not spending time with family outside of kids events. I liked video games my whole life, and would go in spurts where it would consume time. 2 months prior to BD, I pulled away from kids events also because of dealing with other parents and the cruel things they say these days and caught myself judging my own kids as a result. Although I didnt know until BD, my pulling away caused resentment with W and led me to not be there during her EA times with the OM as a result.
[3] Doing my share of marriage/household related activities. My W does not work outside the home and she handled everything from finances to everyday activities.

[My 180's were:]
[1] stop asking questions and just give space - check - no impact neg or pos that i know.
[2] help around the house more - check - no impact neg or pos although im not overdoing anything anymore.
[3] spend more time with kids - check - this was easy and has pos impact on me and wife mentioned positively.

Even after rereading 180's im still confused because I feel I'm beyond them right now based on my sitch and focusing more of LRT. Not stopping the 180's but they are not doing anything but for me now, which is good for me moving forward.

Still working on GAL/s. This is the tough one. Might have dinner plans with a friend who knows the situation tonight. He went through a D 4 years ago and is getting married next month but still is good to have someone to talk with.