Your H's touch and go was verrry interesting...reminds some of when my W got dumped by a "significant" online EA OM (or maybe he was the PA one too, who knows) in Feb...she was all saying she wanted to "do things together" and that's when she had "test s3x" with me (ugh)...seems like they circle back to make sure we are still here, that they haven't gone "too far" with their actions. Seems this fits with her reaction to my reaction to BD#3 and her idea of co-habitating after D...she lit up my phones and email that night...it that how someone who is "done" supposedly acts? Kinda like how H swarmed you? Methinks not.
My IC had some interesting ideas around this. Maybe they offer some insight, idk.
-"I however do feel she is desperately trying to keep you... in fear she has lost you or losing you, that was never her intent. She just wanted you on hold,,,, NOT RIGHT OR FAIR."
-"She knows she came close to blowing it with you when she told you she was wanting to live seperately but together... her intent was to keep you all along.... never intended on you having the reaction you gave her.... she now fears you getting tired of her behavior ... (good sign) "
-"She is trying way too hard to keep you, but not be bad if she talks to men. She doesn't want you out of her life. She wants her cake and eat it too...why....still insecure as to who she is. She is trying so hard to find herself, that she is losing herself."
-"she knows in her head you want to stay together but she fears you will grow tired or think back about bad behavior..."
Maybe something useful for understanding h in there for your sitch...? Just thought I'd share it.
I think they are so scared of growing old and not having "lived a full life", in addition to the scary, hard and not "always fun and exciting" responsibilities of parenting and being adults, and all the other stuff that is swirling around in their heads...In my sitch, I had a very, very well misspent youth , I don't have "those questions" much anymore...W was the shy, wallflower girl with issues...I was her first "real" R...she has those questions, and per her own words, she had them at times during our M, but didn't act on them before, now she wants to act on them while she can.
This journey sure does take it's weird as heck twists and turns, doesn't it?
Hang in there, you're awesome! T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
, I don't have "those questions" much anymore...W was the shy, wallflower girl with issues...I was her first "real" R...she has those questions, and per her own words, she had them at times during our M, but didn't act on them before, now she wants to act on them while she can.
