Strange that we are both feeling this and experiencing this following death of our W's parent. I think I said before i think this is triggered by my W's mother's passing away.
It may be strange, but it’s not uncommon. My W also went into her tailspin after watching her Mom die. It awakens the reality of their time left here on earth. Causes them to reevaluate their entire life. Question everything, even who they are. These are all good things, if handled in a constructive manner.
Have you heard “I want to be independent” and/or “Discover who I am”? I have. We represent their “old” life, the old M... that they now want to run from. Time is running short in their mind too, hence the crises to “Fix” Things, and get on track…
W: “In 20 years I’ll be 70!!!” “In 30 years I’ll be almost as old as my Mom was when she died!” “I feel like I need to stop existing and start living.”
I keep going back to “We didn’t break ‘em, and we can’t fix ‘em.” Throw in the childhood issues that most of them seem to have had, and it’s little wonder they’re in such a panic.
How to be more attractive to them? I’d say be confident, strong and independent. They don’t want to be responsible for our needs. Move on with our life and be happy. A person truly enjoying their life is attractive. Others are drawn to it and want to be part of it.
I hope this helps.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
