At some point, they may have a day or two that they are civil to each other. But what happens is totally different from each other's goals. He sees her being a nice for a few days and starts hoping she's coming around. The WAW, however, thinks he is being nicer and that's the time to ask him the hard questions.....like "how do you want to divide things"? B/c he has one goal in mind (save the M) while she has another goal in her mind (get out of the M).
Sounds like Sandi nailed that one.
This is a long, long process. You really do have to focus on you first....addressing your issues, becoming who you want to be, and showing your W the new you. That's the first step...you can't skip it. Dig into it and really begin the work.
I remember saying things that indicated my W controlled my emotions....that took a long time to break (Mach1 repeatedly 2x4'd me on that one before I got it). That is the roller coaster you are on. The beauty of it is that you can get off whenever you want....it's simply a choice of no longer letting your W's decisions affect you. It is hard to wrap your mind around it at first, but ultimately, it's just a choice you make.
Originally Posted By: Spartan
I think what Breakdown was referring to is that you're on the roller coaster because you're letting yourself stay there.
