[Tallula]

Right now I honestly have no plan. I'm going to try to take a couple of days to calm down. I definitely need a clear head & right now I do not have it.

Good. Just let this all sink in. Try not to spin and figure everything out at once.

I know I need to start planning. I'm pretty sure I will have two daycare options.
[quote]

God, I hear you. Daycare is crazy expensive!!! Give it a little time to settle down before you start planning these things. I know I have a tendency to spin on money and such to take my mind off of things. Then I just go crazy with that stuff.

[quote=in_it]
Work is going to be a tough one. I have no idea how they are going to take it. I'm certain at this point I will need at least the full 12 weeks for leave & if I do have to go on bed rest I will need more. I'm pretty sure my dr isn't going to budge on the bed rest. He firmly told me that he puts his patients with multiples on bed rest at 28 weeks. That will eat up most of my 12 week leave. I originally was going to wait as long as I could to tell work. Now it looks like I may have to let them know sooner. Plus, I'm assuming with twins I'll be showing soon.

I waited a long time to tell my work. I was like 16 weeks along. I would really look into finding another Dr. That just seems so silly to not take each pregnancy case by case. My guess is that he would have a heart attack if you were...say 27 weeks and just ran in a 10k race? I did just that saturday with my Dr's full blessing. I am teaching a bootcamp class tonight complete with hill sprints. Pregnancy is not some super delicate time. Our bodies are made for this!! End rant.

As soon as I find out the gender I will probably start looking at sales & consignment stores for deals on clothes & items needed. I have nothing.

Have fun with this stuff!!! Don't let the crappy circumstances ruin the fun stuff. I still have all my S4 baby clothes, but went garage saleing this weekend for bedding. Looking on craigslist.

My daughters will be delighted. I'm not real sure how they'll react if H is cold towards me &/if he leaves. It will be very hard for them. They are both emotional & sweet. D7 can already sense something is going on between us. She even tried to get H & I to hug the other day.

Just focus on your girls and the babies. H will do what he does. I just take each thing as it comes. When my S4 sobs because he misses Daddy, I hold him. I tell him I love him. We go paint a picture. We laugh. We snuggle. It's the new normal. Kids know stuff is up. I don't lie to my kids. If I'm crying and they catch me, I say I miss Daddy just like they do.

I guess I'm going to have to start telling people. Our family, close friends? Do I discuss this with H, or just let people know? First I have to tell H. I don't even know if I can do that. I can imagine his reaction already.

You don't need to do anything right now. Heck, all of my aunts and uncles had no idea I was even pregnant until last month. Some don't even know H and I are separated. And we are super close. You don't have to do anything now. You don't even have to tell your H. When I realized I was late, I didn't even say a thing to H for days. Totally not normal, but the guy had just told me he was cheating on me. I needed to get clear with what I would do before I told him. My choice. Not his. Wasn't my choice for him to cheat. It's also your choice to tell whomever you need to. Not his.

Of course this makes my mind go crazy once again. I had been doing so good for the last couple of days. Maybe this will be what actually makes him leave? One thing I can't quit imagining is if H leaves is picturing myself in a tiny apartment with 4 kids & no space. I know I can do this, but right now it seems impossible.

Oh man, I feel you. You can't control what makes him leave. And really, if you being pregnant with twins makes him leave...do you want someone who would do that? And, doesn't mean he's never coming back. I go there all the time. 3 kids in a tiny apartment or living back with my parents...then I take a deep breath. I'm in my home today. Each day I wake up there I smile. I sit on the back porch and drink my coffeee. I try to enjoy today, because I have no idea what is in store for me tomorrow.

You can do all of this. You can.