Hit hard still taking another step forward.

[lovethehub]

T,
I am by no means an expert on DB or relationships so take this for what it is worth - and I am basing it on my feelings and actions during/after my A.

She has mentioned several times that you don't open up and it is hard to get you to talk - she is afraid to trust that things are going to be different. I was afraid to trust my H to stick around (long before my A)& because of these fears, I did not want to let OM go even after the A ended (he was a backup plan in my mind}. Even though there was no physical contact, my mind made up stories of how things would be if H left. It kept my emotional connection to him alive for a long time. She needs to know she can trust you but without pushing or pressure..like walking a tightrope, very difficult.

Refusing to quit the gym raises a flag in my mind. Is she in a small town and that is the only gym? If so, different story. If not, there is a reason she will not switch gyms because no matter how much she loves it, she should be willing to go to a different one to make you feel safe and to save the marriage. I may be wrong but I say this because H wanted me to quit my job when he found out abt A (OM would be there regularly). I did not feel I could because I didn't trust him to stay and I could support my children on it, however, even if I could have, I know that I would not have been ready to give that up because I didn't trust my H (Ironic, I know, since I was the one who had the A). I wanted our M to work but I didn't believe it would so I wasn't willing to let go 100%.

Just be careful. She may need some time to see/feel you opening up to her but if it becomes a sticking point and she refuses to quit, there may be a reason.

I am not trying to be a downer because it really sounds like things are going great and she wants to work things out, I just heard myself in her half of that conversation.