I have been anxious about a lot of things not related to the R, Snodderly, and the last recent BD did set me back, and since she is in "not sure" mode now I am sure I am looking for clues...some relief from the limbo and wanting us to be working together on the same page on some things. Or be done and let's get it over with and see what life brings on next...Ugh. This is tougher than I could have guessed.
I did forget to mention that I did re-affirm, based on all I have read about infidelity, mlc and knowing W, and based on what my IC said MAY be a block for W, the fears of getting past all this and it being brought up in the future, that all is forgiven, no matter how "bad" it may or may not be and it will not be brought up or used against her, I even gave myself the consequence to her that if I did bring it up in anger, or to "win" a point, that I would automatically forfeit the discussion and my point, as I wasn't playing fair. She really reacted to this in a positive way. (And she knows the old T just hated to lose a discussion if he was right...yup, be right or be happy is new T's thing).
rH, I think she is looking for that "in love" feeling, based on what she has said, at least a little spark of it. Yesterday I wore sleeveless shirt, W always liked my arms, and they have a nice cut going on...and showed off the bruises and cuts from fixing the washer (a nasty rebuild), saving us $500 or more over buying a new one, and making dinner, and cleaning up...good lord what does a guy have to do these days to impress his W...? LOL
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
