My Story - Need Advice (Thread 2)

[Accuray]

Chris,

You may have thought my last post was harsh. I want you to succeed, but on the road you are on you will not.

I can pat you on the back and support you, or I can tell it like it is.

Your wife is not your soul mate. Your soul mate wouldn't leave you, nor would it be emotionally healthy to meld with someone to that degree. You feel that way about her because you cannot have her and assumed you always would. This has much more to do with you processing grief and loss than it does how wonderful your wife is or is not.

Even if she came back now, it would not immediately make you feel better, in would introduce new and different issues. This is a personal journey that you need to go through and you cannot drag your wife along with you, she doesn't have it to give right now.

Your best bet is to avoid talking to her entirely until you are farther along. You WILL be completely fine with or without her, and you can also have a new marriage with someone else that is as good as or better than what you had. This is not a "her or nothing" situation despite how it feels.

You are in shock and processing loss. That will pass with time and you will see this situation differently. Your brother seems smart as hell. I would talk to him before every interaction with your wife until you have it down. I truly do not want to see you chase her away -- I want you to succeed