W still wearing her rings, I finally asked her about it and she said maybe it would help, the symbolism, but quickly that she just hadn't worn them in a long time and that the rings were never a "must have" with us (which is very true). I did put mine back on as well now.
Her working is going well, though she comes home pretty tired, especially when she goes to and from under bike or blade power, I told I can appreciate that (working all day and getting there via bike) and validated...last night (Mom's Day) I made a pretty good vegetarian dinner and cleaned up the kitchen. And she was really nice and "herself", though tired, later in the evening after she recovered from her work day. I wish she could sleep better, I think that would really help her state of mind.
I also put new wheels on her spare blades without saying anything, she thanked me this morning.
As I posted over on rH's thread...The replay stuff is hard, I am pretty sure W was online again based on her behavior, and the fact that she came to our room to check-in with me before bed, she hasn't done that in a while. Seems when ever she thinks she is "busted", or worried that she went too far, she tries real hard to check my temp and such...but idk...
I reviewed the "stages" document and am hoping this regression is part of the acceptance stage and she is in the process of closing those doors. I noticed her known replay email account is now closed when I accidentally sent an email to it (it was in my contact list)...so, I know that may, or may not mean anything, as it is easy to create a new one.
She also has laid off emailing me so much, and maybe I think a bit of the old not communicating things like work schedule and such, but I was swamped this weekend, so maybe I forgot. She seems to have withdrawn/distanced quite a bit, BUT, I see more of real W I think, so maybe just the mini cycles of acceptance...?
She also doesn't want to do the weekend getaway now, but rather a day/evening thing due to the money and that she has to work weekends.
I have been doing pretty okay, just plugging away at what needs doing, but taking some chill out time as well. Of course, with it being spring/summer, shorts, tanks and bikinis...this is a bit difficult in that "wanting" department in me.
So I am good, but with ups and downs, like anyone. Just trying to roll with it and live the best I can and leaving her be as much as possible. T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
