Steve, Just read all 4 pages and your sitch follows many of ours (from the EA (many of us PA), to us controlling, etc...
First off, the letter...I wouldn't send it. In my opinion it has a controlling tone to it. What are you trying to accomplish with this?
Reading it as an outsider what I got out of it was you telling her (again) you think she is making a terrible decision, you're trying to convince her you've changed with words and she is wrong to proceed, and you're playing the family guilt card since they don't get a decision.
Reason I read that in your letter, it's the same kind of stuff I used to do. It won't work and she won't read it and have her mind changed. IF she even reads it she could read it same way I did as you trying to control things again.
No amount of words will change her mind no matter how often we've seen it in the movies. Only your consistent actions have a chance to change anything. I've been told, several times, words won't get you out of a problem your actions got you in to.
Try to relax a little and breathe. Seems like you're still running on emotion, which is understandable but counterproductive. Even is she sees a L this week the process takes a LOT of time. That gives you plenty of time to SHOW her the new you, no need to tell her anything.
Controlling (one of my demons): What is your 180 for that? How about letting her go. Stop trying to convince her of anything since that's more you trying to control the sitch. A real 180... open the door and encourage her to go. True love is letting the thing you love go. Act as if you are fine with her leaving and pour yourself into your kids and GAL.
GAL: You need to find some activities to keep you busy. I understand time constraints with kids, especially when W checks out. Nothing in your sitch will change until you start enjoying your life. I think BD's task of 2 GAL activities per week is a good goal. Only thing I'd add is that I think one needs to be with other people.
What are you interests (not kids, family activities, etc...just want to know about yours)?
Any hobbies you always thought would be fun to try? Now is the perfect time. If not exercise is great. I recommend that to everyone.
Lastly for this post. As Sandi said earlier I wouldn't believe anything your W says at this time. I got $ucked back in so many times these last 7 months to later get crushed that I don't want that to happen to anyone else. Just protect yourself.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
