Wife is having an emotional affair

[Alan A.]

she just posted this to on of her social media sites. "I'm so done. I just can't fight anymore."

[Alan A.]

I guess last night she posted a video talking about about D and how she can't sleep anymore and she has a panic attack every night when she tries to go to bed. She said something close to "it's not because I miss him because I don't, it's more because I am completely alone." I don't understand how she can say she is completely alone, I know she is still seeing OM. Well now that I'm thinking about it OM may have gone home for the summer, I know she still texts him though because she was when I was with her yesterday. She also said something like "through experiences my life is half over, I'm dealing with things that 40-50 year olds have to deal with." personally I think there are a lot more things to experience between 20-50 than getting married and divorced.

[Alan A.]

Today W texted me to ask if I took the toothpicks. I took some but there was another box in the medicine cabinet. I told her so but she said there weren't any and asked me to bring some back. I told her that I wasn't home and wouldn't be for at least an hour. Then she started asking where I was and what I was doing. I wanted to tell her none of your business but I was polite. I wanted to go pickup some mail so after I got home I asked if she still wanted the toothpicks. She did so I took some over. When I got there I found the box that she said wasn't there, grabbed the mail, then asked if she would be available tomorrow to go get my name off the lease. She said she was busy. I told her that we need to go get my name removed from the lease. I know I sounded annoyed. She said she would try to make time but OM was coming over.

[25yearsmlc]

Today W texted me to ask if I took the toothpicks. I took some but there was another box in the medicine cabinet. I told her so but she said there weren't any and asked me to bring some back.

Alan, listen to me, WTF???

...WAKE UP!! Tell her to get her own toothpicks or keep looking for them. She's nuts. OR HANG UP ON HER...what do we KNOW?

WE KNOW She cheated on you and still is, and she is leaving you. Those are FACTS....she has more nerve than anyone I know who isn't in jail...

the rest of this is confusion b/c of your pain. Smoke and mirrors...CLEAR YOUR HEAD and

Get a grip and enforce some boundary....you CANNOT let her talk to you like that AND believe she'll ever regain respect for you.

without respect for you, there won't be love. OR self esteem...which you need to re build asap.



I told her that I wasn't home and wouldn't be for at least an hour. Then she started asking where I was and what I was doing. I wanted to tell her none of your business but I was polite. I wanted to go pickup some mail so after I got home I asked if she still wanted the toothpicks. She did so I took some over.

were you just using that as an excuse for contact? To show her the new strong you? She's not your "wife" right now. Let OM bring her some tooth picks

OR let her look for them a bit harder. What is she, 12?




When I got there I found the box that she said wasn't there, grabbed the mail, then asked if she would be available tomorrow to go get my name off the lease. She said she was busy. I told her that we need to go get my name removed from the lease. I know I sounded annoyed. She said she would try to make time but OM was coming over.

Alan, get your name OFF the lease. You do not need her permission or her presence.

For her to tell you that she is busy but she'll TRY to make time BUT gee, OM is coming over to the apartment you two were married and living in...and NOW YOU had to leave...

wow that's nerve.

And you don't see it?

You are not teaching her what she needs to see in you, which is a man who would NOT tolerate this.

[25yearsmlc]

she is dealing with NOTHING that her age group deals with...let alone mine...

like vows, commitments, keeping them, FOR A YEAR...

so it's laughable to hear her complain of problems SHE created and caused and her self pity is appalling,

with no concern for YOUR pain or what SHE HAS DONE TO OTHERS...

I think she's a bit sociopathic...

and I am so sorry to say this but the more I read of what she says, the more I think she has done you a favor...

[PatientMan]

In my very humble opinion...

Alan: don't even talk to her. Some message boards have an "Ignore" feature. Put her on that in real life and only communicate out of absolute necessity.

I teach my children that THEY teach OTHERS how to treat them. While there is nobility in always being nice and forgiving, sometimes you get to a point where you are teaching someone else that it's okay to treat you terribly.

She is blatantly disrespecting your marriage and you. Don't tolerate it. Don't even talk to her. You're better than that.

Being ignored is how she is going to "get the message" that what she is doing is not okay. She hasn't seemed to have received that message yet, or has rationalized her way out of it. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't understand this message anyway, so you might as well draw the line in the sand now.

Also, be prepared for the initial backlash.

-PM

[AnotherStander]

Alan, listen to me, WTF???

...WAKE UP!! Tell her to get her own toothpicks or keep looking for them. She's nuts. OR HANG UP ON HER

Glad I wasn't the only one thinking that, LOL! Toothpicks are what, a dollar for a box of a zillion? That is one of the craziest WAS requests I've heard!

While we're on this subject, when my WAW moved out she took half of everything she could think of down to pouring half the dishwashing soap out of the bottle and taking half the q-tips. She came back later when I wasn't there and took half the firewood off the pile. Still makes me roll my eyes when I think about it!

[Alan A.]

I really couldn't believe she ask for toothpicks either. The only reason I took some was because I was already going to pickup my mail. And she does need to be present to get my name off the lease because she has to sign something to "release me from responsibility for the apartment" or something like that. I'll go talk to the leasing people but I don't think I will be able to get my name off without her.

[Alan A.]

I just called the leasing office to double check. We both need to go to sign some papers, either at the same time or her first then me. But I can't do anything unless she is with me or has already gone in to sign the papers.

[Alan A.]

I told W that she needed to sign a paper to get me off the lease and asked if she had time to do it now. She said she had about half an hour. I told her that I was headed over and that she could either go now and sign or wait for me then sign it. She went and signed it before I got there, then I signed it. So now I'm off the lease. the only thing left is the internet service gets switched tomorrow and the modem from my account needs to get sent back or I'll get charged $100. I can't think of any other reason I would need to talked to her so I plan to cut off all contact at that point.