It's time for a new thread. Quick update W admitted to relationship with OM on Sunday night. Says its a "diversion" away from her real problems Seeing my IC on Monday to discuss helpful things coparenting our son through this I feel a lot more detached, but not completely I have NO Expectations W is admittedly unhappy and not sure what she wants I am still willing to try to work on Marriage in MC or RetroV Not sure if it can work though or if I want it to In the meantime I will continue to work on improving me and becoming the best man and father I can
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I'm really sorry to hear this, cbtdad. But it sounds like you have got your priorities straight. It's good that you're working on yourself and focussing on your R with your S.
Try to stay active and be positive. Don't dwell on your sitch or let yourself be troubled thinking about some d-bag who would prey on a married woman who is having trouble in her M. He ain't worth it.
You on the other hand ARE worth it. So find the things that will make you happy.
And I agree with what cadet wrote. MC would not work if W is not willing or able to work on the M. If your MC isn't strongly pro-M, they're likely to say, well, it seems like you are unhappy in the M, so it's probably best if you just get a D. Sadly Ican say this from experience.
M41 W42 M 12 T 15 S10, D9, twin Ds 3 1/2 BD 1/2/2013 Living as roommates Working on D agreement w. mediator 5/13
Thanks Cadet and Papa! Yeah, she knows exactly where I stand and what my boundaries are. I'm not going to just sit back and wait around while she decides what she needs to do to work on herself. She knows the only way I am willing to work in this marriage is if she works on herself and wants to marriage to work for right reasons. Thankfully if we do make it to MC she is very pro marriage and W knows this. MC is totally solution based. She flat out said to us after only meeting with her in January that there was no point in scheduling anther appointment with her until we are moth committed to trying to make it work. W has mentioned going to see her for IC. I just don't want it to be a conflict of interest and then we lose her as MC. But if she decides to go se her individually I would be happy. I just want her to be happy either way. With or without me. I need that for my son. Even if we get to MC I don't know if it can work. I will commit and do everything I can. I just don't know if I will ever be able to trust her again
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I just don't know if I will ever be able to trust her again
I'm there too, but not worrying about that now, as I am focusing on me
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Well my trip to Dallas was great. Only rough spot all weekend was my at the wedding. My dad got remarried on Saturday. It was tough hearing those vows again. Got me a little teary eyed. But I let the emotions happen then i let them go and enjoyed the rest of the evening. Came back and cooked dinner for W and MIL. I did filets, twiced baked potatoes, asparagus with hollandaise sauce followed by strawberry shortcake for dessert. Didn't get W anything for Mother's Day. Not a card or anything. Just wished her Happy Mother's Day when I walked in. She did actually give me a sincere thank you for cooking dinner. Kept conversation light. Nothing R wise or anything like that. She did bring up that she is feeling very negative lately and is second guessing getting her breast implants done Friday. I just said I'm sorry you are having those negatives feelings, I hope you figure out what makes you happy. If there is anything I can help with let me know. I told her I can understand why he would be nervous about her surgery in Friday, but reminded her this has been something she has wanted to do for a few years. I'm looking forward to a great week ahead. Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
W and I have got an appointment today with my IC about coparenting. I've already spoke with IC and told her this is strictly about how we can help out son in best way through this. She said she will keep the focus on our son and that's it. I do not want W thinking this was to tag up and help her with her problems. It's not about that at all. I hope it goes well. We shall see
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
