I did the same, at about the same point as you in my sitch, so forgive yourself and get back on your plan... It's normal I think to be curious as to what the future might look like if it has to be that way...
You are correct, it is a distraction, much like the mlc'er uses the OP/whatever as a distraction from the issues and pain...
Hang in there! T^2
sometimes T^2 i think we are living as the same person in parallel universes. Just mine is about 12 months delayed!
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
It's normal I think to be curious as to what the future might look like if it has to be that way...
