Harder and harder

[Positivespin]

I did go to the bar. I enjoyed watching baseball and the worlds strongest man competition. I was the only one drinking Pepsi I was also the only one there alone.........feeling my way through this new life

For whatever reason I started trying to remember who was the last person I kissed before my wife. I cant remember because it was so damn long ago.

At this point my wife is toxic to me emotionally so I have withdrawn. There are no conversations anymore. Anytime there is nothing specific to discuss I leave- or else I will get hurt.

I was up in my room without anyone knowing while my w was putting D3 to bed. W would close D3s BR door and walk downstairs.....D3 would get out of bed - I would hear footsteps and she would whisper "Daddy?"- she was looking for me

W would come back upstairs and attempt to put D3 back to bed- and the same thing would happen again

W came back upstairs again but D3 wouldnt stop crying and calling out "Daddy" "daddy"- W was attempting to rock her but she was crying and screaming and coughing for almost 10 minutes.....D3 would keep screaming to W "Where is Daddy" "I want Daddy" "I dont want you".

At the 10 minute mark I walked in the room. Picked her up and put her to bed. To calm her down (and make her use the other side of her brain) I asked her to help daddy count to 20

not 2 minutes later she was asleep.

I went back to my room and 10 minutes later W called me on my cell- she was downstairs
"Did you get her to sleep" "Yes I replied", W- "Ive never seen her like that before" Me- " Ill see you on Wed- goodnight". W- "Oh ......goodnight?"

Note to wife- being at boytoy #1 or 2's place 4-5 nights a week and ruining your family tends to do this to 3 year olds. Im not trying to insert a dose of reality into your fun journey of life exploration but a 30 second call every night (at your convienance) to D3 isnt working.

I am D3's Daddy and I dont know who the ________ you are!