Oh, lord. Big HUGS!!!! You did AMAZING!!! You should be soooo proud of yourself.

The biggest thing I have learned through this process is to not react. When we get new info or something just plain hurts, wait. Wait a few days until I can calmly discuss it.

I do think it is perfectly acceptable to request that she not take calls or texts from OMs while around you. I have. That was my first boundary with H while he was still living here, and even now. Even though I feel a stab of pain everytime his text alert goes off. I guess yesterday I made a face and H goes "that was one one I am having sex with. Actually, I'm not having sex with anyone anymore." I don't believe him, but he knows my boundaries. He knows they have consequences. I have never spoken them in anger to him...I just vent here and to the few friends that know my sitch.

I also have said no OP around the kids. If I feel like it is too heated of a topic or I'm too emotional, I send an email. That works well too.

This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through, so I know how you feel. I have to admit, as horrible as it was to think my H was in love with someone else...finding out he was with multiple woman just made me see that it really has NOTHING to do with me. He's the one with the problem, not me. I have done alot of work on me and the things in my nature that I don't like. I continue to work on me. But nothing we have done causes someone to cheat. That is on them. You are amazing, know that!!

M: 9 yrs
T: 13 yrs
H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months
Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs
Dbing 12/12
S 1/13
7/13 H moved back in basement.
8/13 #3 born
10/13 still cheating
10/13 He moves across country, I file for D