D3 and I took the time to craft w a very nice mothers d card....
Woke up this am and we took my mom and dad out to bfast. W comes to the house at 11am to take her mom and d3 out to bfast. I was very upbeat and positive while d3 gave her mommy her specialcard - she was so proud
They left, I was alone thinking about a nap= depression. So I change my clothes and decide to walk 5k in the rain
Head almost cleared I decide to stretch 5k into 5 miles........better now
Thinking about going to the neighborhood tavern now and sitting at the bar, watching some sports and eating some nachos......problem is it feels weird when you no longer drink
Just feeling my way through this new life of mine..........................
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Oh, lord. Big HUGS!!!! You did AMAZING!!! You should be soooo proud of yourself.
The biggest thing I have learned through this process is to not react. When we get new info or something just plain hurts, wait. Wait a few days until I can calmly discuss it.
I do think it is perfectly acceptable to request that she not take calls or texts from OMs while around you. I have. That was my first boundary with H while he was still living here, and even now. Even though I feel a stab of pain everytime his text alert goes off. I guess yesterday I made a face and H goes "that was one one I am having sex with. Actually, I'm not having sex with anyone anymore." I don't believe him, but he knows my boundaries. He knows they have consequences. I have never spoken them in anger to him...I just vent here and to the few friends that know my sitch.
I also have said no OP around the kids. If I feel like it is too heated of a topic or I'm too emotional, I send an email. That works well too.
This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through, so I know how you feel. I have to admit, as horrible as it was to think my H was in love with someone else...finding out he was with multiple woman just made me see that it really has NOTHING to do with me. He's the one with the problem, not me. I have done alot of work on me and the things in my nature that I don't like. I continue to work on me. But nothing we have done causes someone to cheat. That is on them. You are amazing, know that!!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Didn't proof read "That was no one I am having sex with."
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I did go to the bar. I enjoyed watching baseball and the worlds strongest man competition. I was the only one drinking Pepsi I was also the only one there alone.........feeling my way through this new life
For whatever reason I started trying to remember who was the last person I kissed before my wife. I cant remember because it was so damn long ago.
At this point my wife is toxic to me emotionally so I have withdrawn. There are no conversations anymore. Anytime there is nothing specific to discuss I leave- or else I will get hurt.
I was up in my room without anyone knowing while my w was putting D3 to bed. W would close D3s BR door and walk downstairs.....D3 would get out of bed - I would hear footsteps and she would whisper "Daddy?"- she was looking for me
W would come back upstairs and attempt to put D3 back to bed- and the same thing would happen again
W came back upstairs again but D3 wouldnt stop crying and calling out "Daddy" "daddy"- W was attempting to rock her but she was crying and screaming and coughing for almost 10 minutes.....D3 would keep screaming to W "Where is Daddy" "I want Daddy" "I dont want you".
At the 10 minute mark I walked in the room. Picked her up and put her to bed. To calm her down (and make her use the other side of her brain) I asked her to help daddy count to 20
not 2 minutes later she was asleep.
I went back to my room and 10 minutes later W called me on my cell- she was downstairs "Did you get her to sleep" "Yes I replied", W- "Ive never seen her like that before" Me- " Ill see you on Wed- goodnight". W- "Oh ......goodnight?"
Note to wife- being at boytoy #1 or 2's place 4-5 nights a week and ruining your family tends to do this to 3 year olds. Im not trying to insert a dose of reality into your fun journey of life exploration but a 30 second call every night (at your convienance) to D3 isnt working.
I am D3's Daddy and I dont know who the ________ you are!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
At this point my wife is toxic to me emotionally so I have withdrawn. There are no conversations anymore. Anytime there is nothing specific to discuss I leave- or else I will get hurt.
Me too.
I'll add if I don't leave or if I look at text I will respond.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Wife has been gone the last 2 nights and I didnt even get a 30 second "Im calling to say goodnight to D3" last night.
so JP....to answer your question GREAT!
Tallula - THANK YOU for your awesome post. It crossed when I made my last post and today was my first time reading it. You are an amazing poster, you have a very graceful way of posting your emotions that I am jealous of. I agree wholeheartedly.......its not us
As D3 and I continue forming our "Team Awesome" I have been getting back into the morning exercise- last 3 days in a row. Its freaking early in the morning but the results are really starting to show now - I weighed in at 209.4 this AM (I was 263 Jan 1)
I was joking with lbh (left behind) That I can finally bend over without showing the world my a$$ crack
My wife will be home tonight and I wont be there. I have a mtg tonight at 6:45 and will keep myself busy until before and will be home too late after.
Being around her causes me pain because of her carelessness. I am not scared of her I just choose not to subject myself to it - MY CHOICE
In the morning when im exercising if she chooses to join - fine. Might even be a pleasant surprise. Either way, im doing what im doing and will see her at the breakfast table with D3
I will say this........The sun coming back and summer approaching does make things brighter!
Thanks again- to ALL of you for caring
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
