If thats normal, then whats my next play? I cant live out of my jeep forever and will have to go back to the house
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
I'm afraid it's the new "normal", as crazy as it seems. The best way forward would be if you somehow managed to sustain yourself without being dependent on your wife. Currently you are free to concentrate all your energy on yourself.
I was in a similar position. A year ago I was still a stay-at-home-dad for three little kids and a student without any income. Now I have a job and don't need a cent from W. The situation with W hasn't improved (yet?) but at least I feel much better. The same would apply to you.
I51 XW51 T30 M18 D11/11 S9 2/12 ILYBINILWY 3/12 I left home 4/12 PA 9/12 XW left home and moved in with OM 4/13 I moved back to home 6/14 Big D
Go back to your house. Try to sell the house. Make sure she takes lead in everything. Do no assistance at all. She wants changes she does the work. Walking out / you getting apartment all makes it easy for her. She wants room she gets apartment. She wants d she files. You take this time and work on you. Clear your head and try something new
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Thanks all. I have been gone since Saturday afternoon, but its time to go home. For me...I have been doing 180s. I havent chewed tobacco in a month (although I am chewing nicotine gum). I stopped snooping. I have done my best to back off and give her space...these are all huge for me.
But she is acting as if the past decade has been a horror story that she suffered through. Nothing good, only the bad is in her head. She made me feel like a complete lump Saturday...enough that I had to leave.
I know some of you say this is "normal"...and maybe it is, but she is completely shut down, completely withdrawn, and says there is no way she is coming back. It is enough to make you just give up.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
You have to go on YOUR timeline. Was the relationship healthy for YOU? What do you want? This isnt going to be quick.
She is telling you what she feels now and she may hate every single bone in your body right now. That, obviously is not how its always been. She fell in love with you once...It CAN happen again - if you decide to invest the time to work on you.
Go back to your house and give her distance. No questions, no snooping. Live as room mates and do things for you
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
I need more advice for LRT. I normally take her (our) son to school in the morning so she can work out, do school work, or just relax before going in to work. I also do the family laundry, cleaning, cooking, ect...
Do I continue to do these things and help her out?
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
SFC, from what I have understood about LRT, you should not be doing such things for the WAS.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
