I get all this but at this point i dont see how i can get myself out of this bad spot. Yes im hurting bad very very bad. I truly do not think it was me that caused all this to happen. But I am sure that being honest i played a part. But i keep saying that if it was not the gay GF that came around all the time then i would not be where i am not. my hate is so bad at this person. i think it started at a EA then dug deeper in by this person. I am so messed up in the head i have a hard time dealing with the basic things in life. I just fell that why should this WAW has a good happy life and im stuck here with nothing. hurting. Not that i wish the hurt on anyone but i just wish i could know if WAW is having a hard time as well.
now comes this part she is now Gay as far as im told. is this a deal breaker i do not think so. I am holding on and trying to let God guide me but i can not deal at this point. Why should she be so happy about things and so willing to not file a divorce or separation or anything.
i talked to coach and got a path and a few things to do. she said at this point if im still willing to work to try to work on the WAW then she said at this point with the current info we hit the reset button and start from the beginning. No contact or very little and a letter saying I get it and this has been done before but it has to be about her current life change.this is fine but i need a place to live first. and honestly I want to know where she lives. it is just eating me up inside. i will find out some how. I just sometimes feel that noting i do will ever work and or she will never come back and am i wasting all my time. I jusy want to be happy again and well with my wife. but if this is not working then whay to i keep trying. i also feel like how can i ever fins some one again if we do divorce you guys and ladies need to know that my WAW did give me a STD. how can i move on with some one having this problem. is that why i am hanging on to her so much. who knows. I just to be happy and hate that fact that i let someone do this to me make me the person i am today
I truly do not think it was me that caused all this to happen. But I am sure that being honest i played a part.
Kind of contradictory, isn't it?
I just fell that why should this WAW has a good happy life and im stuck here with nothing.
This is a victim mentality. She is doing what she needs to do as far as GAL and so do you.
this is fine but i need a place to live first. and honestly I want to know where she lives. it is just eating me up inside. i will find out some how.
This strikes me as borderline stalking. Tread lightly.
you guys and ladies need to know that my WAW did give me a STD. how can i move on with some one having this problem.
Why did we need to know this?
I just to be happy and hate that fact that i let someone do this to me make me the person i am today
Everybody wants to be happy. You are responsible for your own feelings. No one makes you feel anything or do anything you don't want to.
I find my W confusing sometimes. Heck, I bet she finds me confusing sometimes, too. Sometimes I even confuse myself. I just try to not figure her out and focus on what I am doing and thinking. Going through this stuff makes for some strange thoughts and emotions. Tumultuous times.
When my W and separated before, I felt like a victim. I do not feel that way this time around. I have worked hard to change my perspective of life and the people and things around me. It makes life better but not always as fair as we all want it to be. Sometimes life seems bittersweet.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
sorry guys and gals i have alot to reply and to say but just cant at this point. i will do it later tonight if im not in bed crying. yes a guy that cries. i honestly do not feel like being here anymore and yuppers life. effin life is crapy
Your only lost if you allow yourself to be. Trust me. I am in such pain in can be excruciating. The pain, paranoia, and unknown can be crushing.
But you, like me need to learn to let go and accept things the way they are. Accept the things we can not change, and change the things we can. And the one thing we can absolutely change is ourselves, and how we react to situations...especially when it comes to our WAW.
Good lord on the STD...realizing it may be TMI, but is permanent...as in incurable? I only ask because 1W cgve me one...I got a shot, ram rodded, and a weeks worth of pills and all cleared up.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
yes STD TMI but was just trying to get everyone to understand maybe why i feel like i will be alone. maybe this is one reason i feel i need to keep trying to keep to have WAW back. we would both have it and so what then
ok just cant get past all these feelings i have for my WAW. does me wanting to keep trying to fix things with my WAW and myself for so long mean i personally have a problem? Am i being obsessed with her or is it really that i want her back.. i do miss and love her but cant stop thinking about her. i just miss what we did have and how it was up to a point
Most of us here have been or are going through what you are.
It is the single hardest thing you will ever have to do. My sitch is awful, but I do know the longer you continue to mope the less likely it is she will return.
You have to do what we've all done - GO OUT AND GET A LIFE!
I know it doesn't feel like it, but you can be happy without your Wife. Everyday is still a struggle for me, but I realise any hope I have of getting my Wife to return all hinges on me being the confident, fun loving man that she fell in love with originally.
You have to do it - step by step - one day at a time.
Remember what MWD writes: it is the CONSISTENCY of your 180s that will be noticed. I firmly believe (rightly or wrongly) that most WAS look over their shoulder and question if they have made the right decision. If she looks over her shoulder and sees a man feeling sorry for himself and moping about you have little to no chance in my opinion.
Call friends and go out - get a hobby - try anything you can to take your mind off things - if only for an hour. Exercise - look after yourself - buy new clothes, change your haircut - anything to give YOU some confidence.
W 39 Me 33 M 9yrs 8 year old Son ILYBINILWY - Dec 12 W moved out - Jan 2013 OM - Jan 2013 I file for D - May 2013
You have been consistently asking the same questions in one form or another for a very long time. It is as if you are expecting a different answer. Waiting and pining are just going to keep you stuck.
You need to GAL. Seriously.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
i know this is what i need to do and at one point did and was feeling better. I even talk to one friend that said it seems like I was better last year. I was hoping for a better year this year but now I have to move. My job is doing a reorg and im a little worried there. theropist wants me to file separation and close joint accoiunt and that is wht is hard for me to do as what sigle does that give? in my eyes it would me eff you im done but maybe this is what she neds so she can just even talk to me.
One thing is i do not have many friends at all all my freinds came from marrage and was told to not to talk to them by WAW
