I really stepped on it, and am asking for help

[SFC_Swede]

Thanks all. I have been gone since Saturday afternoon, but its time to go home. For me...I have been doing 180s. I havent chewed tobacco in a month (although I am chewing nicotine gum). I stopped snooping. I have done my best to back off and give her space...these are all huge for me.

But she is acting as if the past decade has been a horror story that she suffered through. Nothing good, only the bad is in her head. She made me feel like a complete lump Saturday...enough that I had to leave.

I know some of you say this is "normal"...and maybe it is, but she is completely shut down, completely withdrawn, and says there is no way she is coming back. It is enough to make you just give up.