it'll be so fun to have a baby around. the girlfriend/momtobe - if you all went shopping together- i'd say this gal is trying. i have to admit- i am totally a "family" girl- BUT with h (and ex-h) - it was never my "thing" too much to be all girlfriends with his mom. i get along with everyone in the universe quite nicely- but he was my "attachment" to their family- soooo, i'm thinking maybe she'll warm up when you all have a longer standing relationship and you all have lives and that baby that will become inter-twangled and so forth.
i'd guess it takes some years before becoming all an important and integral part of each other's lives, families, etc. i'd even say beware if it was tooooo quick and easy for everyone to be all too close. know what i mean? superficial- maybe she's just cautious in her relationships and that's not bad - rite?
PREACHIE OLD ME - maybe i come from a long line of coolish women. i'm dedicated to death when i "sign up" - but don't jump in very quickly
anyway- mother's day was nice. i always feel rejected and chastise myself for not having kids. oh well- nothing like beating a dead horse. then i remind myself it was my decision too- and IHAD A Perfectly nice day shopping with my neic3. she cracks me up- we try stuff on and she actually thinks i should be wearing the same stuff as her- isn't she cute. because i'm not heavy- i guess she thinks it's okay- but i have to remind her i'm , uh hem , 62 and there is such a thing as good taste. BUT I TRY THINGS ON ANYWAY SO SHE's got company in dressing room and we can look at each other's stuff- she's cute. and sure makes me laugh.
i should look half as good as she does in things. i mean, rally- but it's a nice sentiment and she bought me a gift and even walked later with me. so i'm glad of that - the company.
i get very tired (in this db thing) if needing to accept that i am NOTHING to h - or so it would seem and he totally takes me for granted in his life (i think) or totally doesn't care if i walk out of it tomorrow- and thatis a strain for me.
i guess it's ego- not believing that i could be or should be or am - NOTHING> OH WELL HUH? if i ever ever ever can conquer that- i'll be successful. mother too- spent time with her because no one else did- rocky beginning- okay went to lunch and a drive - then later ratty call on phone- i swear.
couldn't sleep last nite- too bad - have been up for several hours rolling around and agreed to work all week- thank GOD it's going to be pre-school kids- that should be nice. not those ratty middle schoolers. yay
i guess all in all ok- like the bouquet of wine. HOW THE HECK do you sleep anyway- i'd take a hug that was spontaneous. my h is afraid he will have to "perform" i believe if he even dares get near. he has such fear of his own ed- BUT it apparently isn't an issue wth ow- so much for that huh? i think it will be the end of us- i'll finally just wither away from lack of affection and croak or leave.
honestly- what a jerk- if he wasn't guilty and all smarmie over her- he'd be fine. i despair of this db working for us - honestly.
i guess i'd better go try and de-puff my eyelids so i can put on some mascare. i'd give alot to be able to see my eyes with glasses off- anotehr frontier to cnquer huh?
have a great day- you have a good attitude. mine is sucko- i wonder today when the heck i will wake up fortified and "outtahere" in mind and body.
this girl's impatient - i want a life and some fun- i don't want to go trolling internet for love- eeeruuuuuwwwwwww- i guess tht's what a person is supposed to do these days. it sounds creepy- oh well- me and everyone else alive huh - lookin for love and wondering where to find it.....
