Much of what a LBS should do while DBing is FOR the LBS. IOW, it's growth of the LBS, regardless of whether the M is saved.
Your W gave you the "too little, too late" script, yet in reality, the 180s you are doing, you would have to do anyhow, if your were D. So you are doing them for YOUR benefit, not for her's. Keep that frame of mind and keep doing the 180s, they ARE working.
Understand that while you want to keep up your PMA, the reality is, you won't always have good days. If you are having a down day, you can simply tell your W that you are not interested in talking about your feelings. You don't have to lie, you just don't have to share.
You may backslide now and then, yet it sounds like you are doing a great job. Keep doing what you are doing.
We talk about how the DB work a LBS does is the same, regardless of MLC or WAS. The biggest difference is, someone in MLC will go through the MLC process, regardless of what the LBS does. It may then appear futile to do anything until the MLCer is done, the thing is, they are not completely blind. Doing the work NOW would mean that a lot of the positive work has already been done and be permanent. MLC just can take a long time (years).
A WAS (and we've seen a few here over the past few years) can eventually hit a time when, months to a few years after the BD and separation, the memories of the GOOD parts of the M start to come back to the WAS. Time DOES heal. So if the WAS is not too far out the door, the DBing can change the LBS and change the sitch and possibly result in the WAS considering R. Or, if the WAS is already out the door and even D, all the good DB work will at least result in you being an even better man, father and possibly H, that when your W DOES look back... she may see someone she wants to have a R and possible M with.
Hope that makes sense.
Keeping doing the good work and moving yourself forward!
