While you cannot rely on the third hand info of your children, and you shouldn't pry your kids for info (I'm guessing it's just info they offer up, randomly and without prodding), what your have "heard" about your W's intentions seems rather "out there".
I personally find it interesting that a 50 yr old woman would like to (and could) have a child with a OM. Unless it's adopting. What do I know, I'm not your W... it just seems like fanciful thinking...
and speaking of fantasy, as you indicate, the two of you are not D yet and she is thinking not just about having a child with OM, but also building a house with him?
Like I said, you can't rely on what your kids said, just consider what would need to happen for your W do accomplish those goals, any time you think that there is not a possibility that the A could end.
