I ran my first 5k today and had a really great time. My girls were there to support me for Mother's Day. H texted this morning happy mom day and he asked later in the day how the race was.
D15 took pictures and posted on fb and by this evening I'm wondering if H saw. H closed his fb account in march but reactivated it yesterday. I only know this because a general post from him came on my feed. The old me would've never wanted to run a 5k, I would've been too embarrased or insecure. I am super proud of myself and unfortunately still have the desire for H to be proud of me too.
Whether H sees the photos or not, I don't know, because he doesn't 'like' anything or make a comment. I didn't expect him to. But I was really taken aback by his instantly 'liking' the OW posts today. He's only on fb for less than 16 hours and he's already publicly having contact.
Our communication has been improving and he said he wasn't closed to considering our marriage. It was just easier to believe when I had no public proof of their contact. Of course, now I'm assuming that contact never ceased and that he probably lied to MC when H was asked if that relationship or any others continue and he said no.
To top it all off, I'm hugely feeling sorry for myself because I allowed expectations to enter the day. He reactivated his fb just lastnight and I naively hoped maybe he had to wish me happy Mother's Day. Instead I get no credit for being left to raise his girls and he fawns over OW pics. I'm overdramatizing there, it as one like on a pic. But it stabs like a knife.
How do I set this aside for now? Everything in my head is warning me to be prudent but my heart is angry and hurt. I've worked very hard in the last few months establishing friendship and I don't want to be friendly anymore because of her.
