No longer treading water, must either sink or swim

[Grizz]

Thanks JRG. I am actually in Lexington. Not too far of a drive.

Dinner was OK. Not much talking. W was reading something at the table and I was watching TV. I did hear what she read but I didn't have any comment on it. W didn't think I was paying attention. She rolled her eyes, shook her head then got teary eyed and covered her face.

I really admire you guys on here that can project PMA around your spouse in tough times. I absolutely am a failure at this when W discusses D and moving out. It sends me into a tailspin every time even though it is not a new topic.

I have really complained and whined alot on here over the past week. It has been a really tough week to say the least. As the move out day approaches I feel like I am going through BD again. Terrible emotions, more crying this past week in forever (I HATE that), fear, anger, hurt, sadness, jealousy ( may not be the right word so lets just use hurt and anger again).

I just don't want to be here right now but I have no where to go and my kids miss me dearly at bedtime if I am not around. Which absolutely breaks my heart to think about that and what it is going to be like next month when they are gone.