Suckerpunch down to the wire

[swoop]

to be clear,

is she saying INSTEAD of getting half, she just wants $40k, or in addition to

She is saying she simply wants a check for 40k. Then, she wants another check for $1,000 every summer so she has extra money to play with daughter. She is also asking for $300 a month in child support (Keep in mind we have 50/50 parenting plan). On top of all that, she would like half of our personal belongings and half of my retirement. She wishes for me to pay for all of Daughters medical and dental expenses, and she demands that I put a roof over her head and pay her utilities until the divorce and settlement are finalized. Seems resonable, right? Afterall, we were making roughly the same anual income. [quote]

is it b/c she believes there is equity? Which would mean it's still half, in her eyes, of total assets?

Yes, I believe she feels there is equity because of the fact that I built the home myself. Granted, we are into the house cheaper than we would have been to pay a contractor to build it. However, we also built during the peak of real estate in our area. Values dropped dramatically and have not yet returned to where they were. How on Earth she comes up with a theoretical 80 grand worth of equity amazes me. She is WAAAAAAY off base. [quote]

And YOU DON'T think there's equity?

I have not had the house appraised. However, I did have a real estate agent come through, one of the top rated agents in the area. He felt, and granted this was just his educated guess, that the house is very close to flush in regards to value. He said that he sees hundred and hundreds of homes and his experience is that it would require 100 dollars a square foot to build a comparable structure to ours. Doing basic math, that is pretty close to what we owe. You have to keep in mind, this is JUST the structure. The property belongs to the business and has never been something we owned or even suggested that we owned. W is aware of that. I also discusssed this with my attorney, and granted she is an attorney, but she felt there was no realistic way that our home could have 80k worth of equity built up. Again, we literally built at the peak and the markey dropped to the ground roughly one year later. Timing at it's worst. This area was flooded with foreclosures. We were lucky enough not to be one of them.[quote]

So pay the few hundred bucks and if you are right, you'll save yourself (and maybe her OMG!!) a lot of heartache AND MONEY

by making it a moot point. Either there is equity or there isn't.

She's cash strapped and you know it. If there is no equity then MAYBE you can deduct the few bucks you spent on proving it, from her meager share of your marital assets.

Unfortunately, I am very cash strapped as well. Actually I am probavbly more so than W. I still have to pay BILLS. She is responsible for very very litle these days. I just signed off on her car, which she was able to finance, albeit for considerably less monthly than she had been paying. Besides, I HAVE looked into it a little I don't believe there is 80k worth of equity. Why is it my responsibility to prove that, and how do you believe that would be saving me money?[quote]

But if you think she's not going to get half of whatever there is,

(apart from inheritance or what you brought into the marriage IF IT was never commingled with marital assets)

then you're not being realistic.

I am being very realistic. I know she is entitled to half of whatever we have together. I just know that the figures she is throwing out are NOT realistic. I had made her a counter offer, but she scoffed at it. We aren't even remotely close to coming to an agreement on a settlement. I think W has watched too many episodes of house wives of orange county. She really thinks I can afford to pay her these things. I can't. [quote]

She said she thought that her offer was fair.

I expressed this to her:

is it fair that she walk away, pocket full of money, no debt what so ever to start her new life while I had to start over with no money and on top of that a huge loan payment, child support and medical expenses? I would be financially strapped.

It fell on def ears. Granted she wouldn't be rolling in the good life, but she wouldn't have a large sum of debt hanging over her head. I would. I ask you, how is that fair? Her reply was that I had the security of my family business, and I would have the house. She is missing the point that I would be PAYING for the house, and I had the support of my family business long ,long, long before she every came into the picture. I don't think that should have any bearing on our divorce. Afterall, her Mom probably isn't going to make me any more cookies. Why don't I get support from her family through the divorce process as well?...haha. It is just so frusturating. I am sure it is par for the course [quote]