I appreciate all of the input. There's lots to consider. I will hardly lose the house to foreclosure. I've been paying the mortgage and maintaining it on my own at a much higher interest rate than I will have when I refi. Also, my H got the write-off last year (foolish on my part) which I will get going forward.
Actually, money that my H had or was owed at the time of separation is considered community property. The law is very clear about that.
My attorney knows I am entitled to a lot more than I am being offered. Unfortunately, the only way to get it is through discovery and trial - expensive! It's my call. My H is a fool and just looks spiteful. By the time I have backed out the cost of selling, my retirement and the principal that I have paid down he will get very little equity which is more than offset by the bonus money he has been withholding. As far as refinancing goes, I have been working with a broker who has assured me I won't have to wait. I just need a finalized settlement. In fact, I probably only need a final support order which I can get pretty quickly. So my position looks good. I just had to quit living with so much fear. I'm a lot more capable on my own than I thought I was. My H and his attorney were playing off my fear.
