Almost two years and still stuck in limbo

[leopoldstotch]

Leo thanks man. You know good question. The thing is I don't think I have something to gain being in limbo. But for some reason I chose to I suppose for the kids I'm such a softie when it comes to them. And I've been wanting to get off limbo before 2013. I did let go of my W in my recent sitch but she wouldn't. Leo did you file in your sitch? I want to hear more about your thoughts about your question. It's just lately I'm thinking of filing myself. It's just the last sitch I found proof she's still in EA, I just won't live with someone who cheats me. I deserve better than that...also why would I live with someone who doesn't love me? I'm starting to value myself. I know I'm not there yet but I'm starting to realize.

Ok update: I got to work and everyone knew it was my bday, I couldn't hide . Then D18 called me wish me and wanted to take me to dinner. Then late in pm W called me wish me and even got me a little present--I was so shock ! So we all went to dinner. Oh and recall I was gonna plan something this weekend, well I did booked a hotel 2 hrs away and w will even join us. Nothing to get excited about its within the norm. I had a great day afterall.

And of course thanks to all of you that wish me.

Newman

Sorry I'm just getting back to you Newman. As far as my sitch we haven't filed yet that's coming we are in mediation. It was Presidents Day of this year that I finally decided I had enough of living in limbo. I asked myself over and over what was I holding on to, why was I living in a loveless and sexless marriage? My W had told me time and time again that she wasn't in love with me and that when I'm around she doesn't have that "warm and fuzzy" feeling. I couldn't answer why I was holding on. So I told my W that it was time we divorced. I could see she was shocked and she left the house immediately.

It turns out she called her brother crying and he told her what did you expect for him to wait around on you forever? Well Newman my brother in law is right. You see in the past my W has had two A's that I know of and I did play role in them in that I wasn't a very good H to her. Every time we hit a big crisis in our R she went running to OMs. I really believe she is repeating history her patterns are the same and for me I will never trust her again. I recognized that there was something wrong in Sept of 11 and sat down with my W and told her things needed to change between us that it was time we reconnect. Well that's when she dropped the ILYBINILWY bomb. Nothing has changed since then so for me it's time to close this chapter in my life and start a new one.

If you know she is cheating and that is one of your boundaries then you now what's best for you. Staying in a loveless, sexless marriage for your kids isn't right. Think about what you are teaching them by staying. I do believe that kids are better off having both parents together but only in a healthy M. Believe me kids know when things aren't right between their parents.

I'm happy to answer any questions you have.