I would ignore it and keep all his emails for documentation that he harassing you. Didn't you say before you were afraid he would take the car and not give it back?
He sounds like a petulant child.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Hey N, sorry I haven't been posting, but have been keeping an eye. Just say thank you for the offer, but I am good. (on the car) S's school would like to know when they can expect a payment, would you like to call them and arrange that?
Do not bend on the car...I have a gut feeling also. Worse comes to worse, can you get it fixed thereby pre-empting him? Even if it is on payments?
I have an image of your H is his Brioni suit flying through the air and landing in a pile of.. well, I will leave it up to your imagination.
This is your boundary. Stick to it. Why does HE need to take the car in to get a quote? Are you not capable of doing same? That is a bit rhetorical, although is there some reason he needs to be the one to do that?
Simply respond that you are considering what he is asking and you will let him know when you have had a chance to think about it. Do not respond to any further email about this specific issue.
Keep everything that he emails regarding this as documentation. As he continues, what the courts will see is your valid response and then his harassment over same. That IS what he is doing.
I am not a lawyer, what I am sure of is, the courts will see his actions for what they are.
I agree with Kaffe. If he keeps pounding on the same topic, just repeat what told him before, like a broken record. My first XH was this way, he kept talking about the same thing again and again and didn’t listen to what I was saying. It drove me nuts. All I could do is to repeat the same answer to him over and over again. I just kind followed his own path.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I got busy with my life and took the no-time-to-reply option. I figured I'd already answered him in person.
In the meantime, along came another email.
This time with a major re-write of recent events. It was a real gas-lighter. It worked, I was incensed at his claims that I was not allowing him access to the children, that he was paying for things and doing things for them, that it was my fault that I didn't have a car.
Don't get me wrong, it was all written in the nicest possible fashion.
But it completely turned everything around to make it all my fault.
It ended with a statement that said he would recommence payments of $250 a week effective that day. And closed with a plea to stop legal process and negotiate settlement between us.
Don't know if it's got anything to do with me starting the formal process for CS assessment with the government.
He sounds so out of touch with reality.
This time I'm not sure if i should reply - in order to 'set the record straight' - because the email is obviously written as a document of record to be used at a later date. If i do, it will involve me arguing point by point that he is wrong.
Not DB-ing at all.
I think I will bite the bullet and make an appointment with my L again to get advice on how to proceed.
At least XH is offering to pay CS now and seems to want to keep settlement out of court.
Of course, 2 days after his email - and his statement that he would re-commence payment of CS "effective today" - there has been nothing deposited in my bank account.
He forgot to add "If you do my bidding and answer my email".
He is so tricky and manipulative.
I feel worn out by his games. It's really only the thought of all you guys keeping on keeping on that gives me the strength tho continue.
We can do this - together!
PS, in another development, XH's grandfather (88yrs) is seriously ill in hospital, and his dad (65 and morbidly obese) is having radical excision for oesophagus/stomach cancer tomorrow.
Hang in there NLW. He has nothing on you. He is trying to twist things and the court will not buy it. Don't let him gaslight you. Consult your attorney and if you don't like your Attorney, get a different one. I interviewed four before I chose mine and he came highly recommended and I have not been disappointed yet. People say all the time that lawyers are out for themselves, but I have never felt that way about mine.
Good luck and keep us posted!! WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
NLW, if you choose to respond to the emails do not get sucked into an argument. It can happen quickly. My H use to email me about an issue and somehow it became a rehashing of the past. He still needs to hang onto the anger and spew about this being all my fault. I've been caught at a weak moment and felt the need to defend myself. Believe me, I regret it. So, just be careful. Try to pause for 24-48 hours before responding. Having a paper trail is good. I'm hoping the emails that I have will show my willingness to settle fairly and with consideration for both our needs. My H has run up huge legal bills on both sides with his ridiculous, self-serving actions. He is constantly emailing my attorney, which is completely inappropriate, to state his case or tattle on me. He's a classic gaslighter (didn't know that until I read a great book on the subject). It's all crazy making.
Yes he will try to bait you into an argument to weaken you and because they like the drama and attention of the fight or argument. Walk away and say nothing. It will make him angry but he needs to learn boundaries.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
My boys see our family the same way. It's the three of us. I remember my H telling the boys "I didn't leave you, just your mother." Delusional thinking.
