Very sorry this reply is a bit late, been very busy with work and health issues.
At Brahmin, you are giving me two different sets of advice so I am a bit confused. I think you nailed it with the passive agressiveness with my H. I have been trying to open up to my H but he told me flat out its pressure he doesnt want. If i compliment him he thinks its pressure, if I try to be affectionate with him its pressure, if I tell him he is important to me he thinks its pressure. So I dont think I can win here and I dont think being more feminine to him will help because it hasnt up till now. If I leave him then I dont think he will bother trying to get me back because he life philosophy right now is living as easily (even at the expense of others) as possible. Unfortunately his family culture (not his national culture) seems to support this attitude.
Again, lately my H is asking me to contribute more financially to the home, which is unfair because we already split the finances 50% but he keeps asking me to buy new furniture and appliances but at the same time makes jokes like "the exchange rate isnt so good for Japan so you better by your plane ticket home quickly." I have refused to contribute any more to the home unless his attitude changes. This would answer rick 1963's question. I think my H is trying to take advantage of a good financial situation since I have refused to leave up till now.
Now the good things, H has been more affectionate with me and initiated love making the other day (first time in 8 months)....but honestly it felt so hallow I dont really think I want to do it again and afterwards he stated that he only did it because I wanted it. Nice thought that he did it just for me but I wish he would be a bit more emotionally honest. It takes two to tango right? I can take the good with the bad but something about how he said it was pretty twisted....
ive got more to share but I am at work right now and my break it almost up, will update tonight!
