BANG! Bomb Drop Number Two

[mrtwopointfour]

Myself and my W had a conversation today, where she was expressing an interest in changes in my outlook and personality, but it ended up being a conversation in which I had no choice but to talk about us no longer being 'together' as a couple. This is the first time I have said these words myself to my W, its always been her that has been the one to mention D and Separation. I think it has made W more relaxed around me, which is good. But also I wonder if she is not thinking I have finally given up. Is this a bad thing?

We've been getting along fine, and enjoying jokes, even at each others expense. I am not sure if its right to do so, but i have even been making jokes about some of the issues she has with the way i have been in our R. Such as me not being a very good listener etc. Again not sure this is right, but it lightens the mood a little.

On the downside I signed up for a free trial on a dating site tonight. I have not intention of taking this further, but i think its a sign that I am starting to crave a close R with somebody and wanted to see what the outlook is when I am finally alone. My self-esteem is a little low tonight so I think i just needed some reassurance.